Dear X.T.,
Hello! Hope that you are doing fine, I am! Well, you would probably feel shocked when you receive this letter, but still, please read on till the end!
Do you still remember the times in secondary two? Do you still remember how quiet am I in secondary one and the big change in me when I become so talkative in secondary two? Well, thanks to you, I get to know more friends through your connections with other people. It really gets me open up with other people. Thanks to you too, that I get to enjoy so many happy times. Just want to tell you, I really enjoyed the times we spent together with Von and Jac. During secondary one and two, the four of us would always hang out together ~ having lunch together, doing projects together, going out together and doing so many things together. Those are such happy and wonderful moments in my life and I would definitely remember them always!!! I still remembered that once when our class organized an outing together, all of us have to prepare some food and the four of us straightaway thought of making sushi. The process of making the sushi was so much fun. We went shopping in the supermarket for the ingredients. It’s a wonder how we could have shopped so long in the supermarket at that time. Then, we stayed up till so late for the preparing of the sushi ~ complaining about how the vinegar smells so yucky, making fun of each of our sushi and the satisfaction we felt when our sushi was ready. I could even laugh out now when I thought back. Still remembering the different various ‘so-called clubs’ we set up, it was so much fun!
But all the fun did not last long, did it? At the end of secondary two, we were all separated into different classes with you and Von being in the same class. From then on, we rarely hang out together, chatting online and keeping in touch through phones got lesser as well. Even when we met, the atmosphere between us is not no longer the same. We have nothing in common to talk about, our CCAs are different, our subjects are different and even our friends, are different as well. All of a sudden, our friendship went downhill. We were always quarreling then. Once, you were so angry with me that we had cold war for quite some time. I was really just playing with you at that time. I did not meant to hit you that hard but you treated it so seriously, getting so angry over it. I even send an e-mail to apologize for it but no reply comes from you.
In secondary three, I became so much quieter, just like how I was before I met you. It always saddens me to see you so happily with your friends, maybe feeling even jealous too. Not wanting the friendship to worsen on, I try to hang out with you and Von again. However, you have already formed your clique with the same number of people as ours but not with the same people except for Von. I know that I’m always the odd one out in your clique even though we were friends first. Sad to acknowledge the fact, but deep down in my heart, I also know that your clique did not really care about my existence with you all. Did you realize how much I have to debate with myself against the thoughts that if I have not ask you all to wait for me, none of you will stay back? Did you realize that out of my attempts to hang out with you all again, I became distant with my own classmates? Did you know that how sad and bad I feel when I left my own friends and yet, went to hang out with you all when I feel as if I am not welcomed in the group?
Well, you will probably answer that I need not do all this at the start. If I am given the chance to choose again if I am to find my own friends or to hang out with you guys again, I guess I will still choose to hang out with you all as I did the last time. You might say it is not really worth it, but in my heart, you all are really my best friends, especially you, Von and Jac. The happy times are there because of the presence of we four. Everything will not be the same if the people are different or if anyone is not there. You will probably say I am foolish with not moving on with my own life but if I could turn the time back to when our friendship starts to fade off, I would surely do anything to salvage our friendship.
After the ‘O’ levels examination, all of us move on to different schools. Our friendship remains the same way – stagnant. Life has to go on no matter what happens. I have to find my own way to open up to people and move on with my life while you move on with yours as well. However, though I know that this is difficult but I would like to tell you that, I really wish that we would be great friends again!
Always your friend,
S.E
